I have voicemail now, but do you remember the old answering machines? The ones with the tiny tapes and sometimes broke or spilled out all over the place? Here are some answer messages that people recorded on their machines. Some are quite funny!
Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep
“Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.”
I’m not here, so say goodbye, or leave a message, and I’ll reply
“Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we’ll assimilate you as soon as we can.”
“Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? you
guessed it. Guess what’s next? You guessed it…”
We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!
“Hello? …Hello? …Hellooo? I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to speak
up, I can’t hear you… That’s ‘cuz I’m not home! Leave a message.
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is “The Twilight Phone”
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
You can find more funny messages here.